pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
U took a sewing needle to his nipple
Psshh,
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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