Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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