I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
(919) the date's not going well. He's on his phone talking about his eBay amine shit...
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