these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm pretty sure that the bartender arranged a marriage for me last night. Sounds like a legit birthday present to me.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
