why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
