btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
