are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
