I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
