If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
