I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Look at my fb. It says single. That's the gospel.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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