Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
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