Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...

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(502): so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina... http://tfl.nu/yr74

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(443): View more from Maryland

Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?

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(443): Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help? http://tfl.nu/kek4

Replies (8) Good night (1229) Bad night (2902)
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(713): View more from Texas

yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.

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(713): yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn. http://tfl.nu/bp9j

Replies (38) Good night (4866) Bad night (2129)
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(858): View more from California

you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"

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(858): you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?" http://tfl.nu/xq6v

Replies (43) Good night (8740) Bad night (1433)
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(519): View more from Ontario

Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.

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(519): Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die. http://tfl.nu/wxg3

Replies (21) Good night (5668) Bad night (1126)
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(609): View more from New Jersey

YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS

(443): View more from Maryland

I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.

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(609): YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS (443): I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO. http://tfl.nu/tc5m

Replies (16) Good night (3203) Bad night (573)
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(773): View more from Illinois

by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?

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(773): by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go? http://tfl.nu/xzhw

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(704): View more from North Carolina

Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.

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(704): Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma. http://tfl.nu/71da

Replies (6) Good night (1342) Bad night (496)
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(305): View more from Florida

Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!

(216): View more from Ohio

Look at your life. Look at your choices.

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(305): Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up! (216): Look at your life. Look at your choices. http://tfl.nu/vob0

Replies (7) Good night (1237) Bad night (692)
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(315): View more from New York

You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"

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(315): You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?" http://tfl.nu/ihjb

Replies (4) Good night (995) Bad night (753)
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(870): View more from Arkansas

I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that

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(870): I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that http://tfl.nu/cuww

Replies (3) Good night (1260) Bad night (426)
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(516): View more from New York

About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.

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(516): About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me. http://tfl.nu/5yy8

Replies (3) Good night (595) Bad night (516)
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(208): View more from Idaho

I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.

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(208): I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea. http://tfl.nu/ctp9

Replies (2) Good night (497) Bad night (280)
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(425): View more from Washington

I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.

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(425): I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep. http://tfl.nu/3psv

Replies (0) Good night (361) Bad night (277)
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(386): View more from Florida

Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.

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(386): Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost. http://tfl.nu/901r

Replies (2) Good night (538) Bad night (228)

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