we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.