Texts From Last Night

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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.

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  (413): I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together. http://tfl.nu/48v7
  Replies (20) Good night (5838) Bad night (799) Order T-Shirt
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  (432): View more from Texas

  I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?

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  (432): I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!? http://tfl.nu/8eh6
  Replies (21) Good night (585) Bad night (4896) Order T-Shirt
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  (301): View more from Maryland

  The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up

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  (301): The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up http://tfl.nu/7low
  Replies (29) Good night (2906) Bad night (703) Order T-Shirt
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.

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  (208): The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State. http://tfl.nu/x5jw
  Replies (20) Good night (1123) Bad night (4021) Order T-Shirt
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  (510): View more from California

  answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.

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  (510): answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it. http://tfl.nu/6rsg
  Replies (6) Good night (1296) Bad night (5252) Order T-Shirt
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?

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  (978): What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax? http://tfl.nu/zknj
  Replies (12) Good night (3494) Bad night (1136) Order T-Shirt
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.

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  (804): What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language. http://tfl.nu/0hum
  Replies (3) Good night (2566) Bad night (495) Order T-Shirt
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover

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  (410): why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover http://tfl.nu/9q3l
  Replies (2) Good night (660) Bad night (1062) Order T-Shirt
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  (229): View more from Georgia

  Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?

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  (229): Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing? http://tfl.nu/q7mi
  Replies (6) Good night (1883) Bad night (869) Order T-Shirt
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day

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  (617): FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day http://tfl.nu/h5lz
  Replies (8) Good night (2140) Bad night (467) Order T-Shirt
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  (469): View more from Texas

  After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.

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  (469): After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend. http://tfl.nu/7v59
  Replies (5) Good night (1096) Bad night (310) Order T-Shirt
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  (+33): View more from France

  And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".

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  (+33): And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?". http://tfl.nu/no4p
  Replies (3) Good night (547) Bad night (250) Order T-Shirt
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  (425): View more from Washington

  So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?

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  (425): So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt? http://tfl.nu/9qop
  Replies (8) Good night (1477) Bad night (285) Order T-Shirt
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  (718): View more from New York

  I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.

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  (718): I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best. http://tfl.nu/yss2
  Replies (4) Good night (845) Bad night (253) Order T-Shirt
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.

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  (405): Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick. http://tfl.nu/t0hp
  Replies (6) Good night (821) Bad night (191) Order T-Shirt

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