Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(201): View more from New Jersey

You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.

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(303): View more from Colorado

other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do

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(949): View more from California

The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.

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(440): View more from Ohio

It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night

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21 Of The Most Impressive Things Ever Seen In Porn
Read it at the TFLN blog
(615): View more from Tennessee

At least they aren't charging us for the broken diving board...

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(416): View more from Toronto

Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.

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(517): View more from Michigan

She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework

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(716): View more from New York

i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.

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