I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Is a Chipotle burrito an acceptable "sorry I ran over your cat" gift?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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