I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
