so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I think I sprained my soul last night
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I’m literally lecturing this class on professionalism, while my body is undoubtably covered in leftover cum from last night. I’m a fucking role model.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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