The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Randomize