Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
