It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I told him we could use my stove to make weed brownies, from that point on he kept reffering to me as "best pledge ever"
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
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