I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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