did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
I need someone to meet me at the end of the road and throw captain morgan at my face like they do with water at marathons
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
