We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
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