Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
Bring more bourbon. Day drunk just hit another level.
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
Randomize
