we should wear snuggies to the strip club
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
