Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
