I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Randomize
