we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
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