i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
We have started to decorate penises.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
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