All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
we should paint friendship bongs
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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