i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
