My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
Randomize
