yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
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