He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
