I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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