I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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