And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
she peed on how many people?
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
