Hey man sorry I got all grabby
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
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