fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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