I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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