i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Don't judge me. It's a Monday night and I can eat burritos in while bathing in the kitchen sink if I want to.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
