where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
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I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
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