I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
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