I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Vodka?
Forever.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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