I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
