i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Randomize
