I wannas sexs uuuuu
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
Randomize
