I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
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