So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
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I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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