You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
I just masturbated into a dress sock. I feel fancy
Girls should come with a carfax report
either way he was missing a nipple.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Randomize
