There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
