after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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