I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
