never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
