Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
