You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
