Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
