We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
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