Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Randomize
