oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I am a figure skater. You should know better than to let me get drunk near any patches of ice during Olympics season.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
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