How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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