i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
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