3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
